Some people enjoy crossword puzzles and others suduko. For yet others it is the word find or even better the word puzzles. I wish my addiction was one of the above, but rather I play calendar.
What is calendar? Well, it is a game all infertiles play while obsessing about their current and upcoming cycles. All you need to play is a piece of paper, writing utensil, and a few important dates, such as: LMP, when you ovulated last, or retrieval date, I think you get the picture. YOu can create many scenarios and often your game ends early when AF comes unexpectedly. I have not yet won a game of calendar, but yet I still play almost daily. Every legitimate calendar in my possession has scribblings of projected AF arrival and guesstimates of when I ovulated last. At the bottom is the goal date - the date I would someday like to achieve 9 months down the road if AF manages to stay away for that long and instead of her ugly visit I get the big prize - a real live baby.
One of the problems with playing calendar is that is becomes obsessive. The more you loose to more you want to win. I am constantly printing out calendar templates from Word or making my own versions when I should really be taking notes in a meeting. Just yesterday I was looking for some notes I took a few weeks ago and all that was on the appropriately dated paper was my last IVF cycle timelines with proposed retrieval and transfer dates. Recently I have added a new twist to the game - adding in current vacation accruals so I can best plan when my final IVF should fall as to maximize my accrual potential and leave enough remainder so I can get paid to sit on the beach in Key West this spring.
You will be happy to know that I am trying to give my calendar playing addiction a rest for a while. Since my last failed IVF I have not calculated when I should expect AF, but rather I am going to wait for the surprise. The big, fat, bloody surprise - won't it be fun! I just can't wait! Keep in mind this has taken all of my energy. Everytime I glance at a calendar or pick up a pen and start drawing a grid that is 7 boxes wide and 4 boxes long, I manage to put myself away just in the knick of time. I am thinking about starting a calendar addicts recovery group - any takers out there?
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8 comments:
I'm just not ready to quit yet - I guess I haven't hit my bottom?
The addiction comes and goes, I find. Right now I'm doing sudoku again, while I wait for this rest cycle to pass by. I never plan farther ahead than two months.
thanks for commenting on my blog. I would be happy to answer any questions I can about the donor cycle - what little I know.
I love your story about calendars. It's so true. I do the same thing! Just this morning I was looking back through my calendar book that I keep in my purse, and it's filled with notes from all my cycles this year. it's a bit depressing.
Um, yah, that's me too. From CD1 I'm trying to plan every date until the due date!
Oh, and please do add me when your list is ready. Cheers!
Hello, my name is Steph and I am a calendar addict. I have been calendar free for 0 days!
I am right there with you girlfriend! If I could turn off my mind and stop "planning" for what may or may not happen I am sure I would be a much happier person.
Oh well...I don't think that is going to happen anytime soon!
I gave up for 2 whole months....but I feel this urge this really strong urge !
That's a funny post! And so true. I too am a Calendar Addict. But even if I obssess over it, I can't seem to score! I've been doing this for a year now but yet I seem like a beginner.
Hey! I didn't know anyone else was as hardcore a calendar player as I am...I have a whole folder of calendars made in Word with various possible cycle scenarios sketched out. This months game of calendar is all thrown off now because my d*** period won't properly start, prefering instead to torture me with off and on spotting. It is a particularly difficult game this round.
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