Friday, November 24, 2006

Collected ponderings....

O.K. Just a warning - this post is going to be quite random, but I am just in that mood. I decided to go into work today and I am sitting at my desk listening to a remixed Sergio Mendes album and thinking about the past few days. I hate malls, cars, and people(mostly fertiles and stroller pushers), so I thought I could avoid them all by "working".

Let's see, where to start...

Well, I usually HATE Thanksgiving - not the holiday and the food but the having to see my family part. My dad and brother spend the day with dad's brothers and my cousins hunting/drunk somewhere in Iowa for some poor animals, so they are not there. My mom drives me crazy and being around her family makes it worse. Also, most of my 16 cousins are extra fertile and someone is always pg or toting around a baby. They all live in the country town I grew up in and we drive down from the "big" city. Can you see why we may not enjoy this much? Let's just say we are very different. My strategy this year was to have a few drinks. (Un)fortunately I spent the morning baking my fab croissants (yes, from scratch - they rock) and had not eaten, and we were late, and I was tired, and I was dreading this event - can you see where this was going. Yeah, I got there and hit the wine we brought (everything else is pink) and had a few glasses, err - a bottle. thing I knew Grandma was asking all of us to hold hands for the prayer. After the formal prayer she added some lines about how blessed we are and something about being grateful and something about asking the man upstairs to continue to look after us like last year (note - last year grandma got hit by an 18 wheeler crossing the road and after 2 brain surgeries and lots of rehab she is 85 and still sharp as ever - I LOVE her). Grandma added a moment of silence for all of us to add our thoughts and I knew she was praying for a baby for us because she told me she would - anyway, after the prayer I dropped grandma's hand and my elbow hit my glass of red wine which managed to cascade onto my shirt and down my fab new pair of long and lean jeans. this some message about me refusing to be blessed? Am I really that unlucky? Is this the response to the baby prayer? Next thing I knew all my aunts, mom, and sis were telling me not to move so they could massage the wine off my sweater. I decided to lay off the wine until later in the evening.

Other random ponderings and some humor...

....You know the big hand holding farmer in the dell style circle I mentioned above? Well, my cousin's little kid - age 4 or so - was looking for her place in the circle while picking her nose and then grabbed my other cousins hand to hold. Nothing like a good Thanksgiving booger.

....Last week the news told of a newborn baby that was found (alive) abandoned in a field by a farmer in MN somewhere. Grandma told me that she was gonna call them and tell them to bring the baby to my house (yup, seriously, she is determined to help us out). She decided not to because she thought later that the birth parents would come back in a few months and have decided that they want the child back and because of the screwy laws here we would have to give up the baby. She said she could not stand to see us hurt again. She must have seriously thought this was gonna solve all our problems. At least she gets it though - I must say I adore her.

....Not once (outside of grandma) did anyone mention our infertility nor push their children on us. This was a first. I am sure the news of our 2nd failed IVF must have traveled to them. I don't even know of they know what IVF is. Actually, I would like to be a fly on the wall during their whisper sessions after I leave to hear what they think it is. I hope their version involves robots and light sabers because that is much more fun than shots and retrievals.

I think that is all the randomness I can handle for now.


not so fertile girl said...

Wow, what an interesting thanksgiving you had. Your grandma sounds so sweet. All those years of living life have made her wise and tender towards your infertility. Back in her day we wouldn't have had options to "help" us become mothers. That is one thing I am so thankful for...the advancement of fertility medication and treatments!

Jys said...

Sounds like quite an intense thanksgiving and you have a lovely grandmother :)
It does sound like everyone really cares about you, and frankly I wish I had my own family here. This thanksgiving we were very much alone.
Honestly fertiles will always be in a different world from me forever I think. And it is always hard to feel alone in a crowd of people who don't have your problem. Be thankful that you are NOT a fly on the wall - there is a reason why our hearing range only goes so far. Whatever they are imagining or not though, may only be out of ignorance if they don't know the nitty gritty like you do, but I am sure each of them really REALLY wants you to have that baby.
And I honestly hope that by next Thanksgiving - you will.
Sending you a lot of hugs.

My Reality said...

I hope you were able to get the red wine stains out of your clothes. I am totally impressed with the croissants. I may just need your recipe. I love to cook and bake, but I have never braved croissants!

As crazy as family can be sometimes, it is nice to spend time with them. I just with my grandmother was a sweet as yours!

Anonymous said...

Yes, I know what you mean about relatives who misunderstand IVF. I recently gave my sharps bin to my mother to look after pending my return home for the next cycle, and she looked at it and asked with some alarm whether I'd fallen in with heroin addicts.

"Mum," I said, and she's known this all along, "I've been doing IVF all year."


"So do have to give yourself injections?"

I guess only the patient really has to think about the details.

Hey, glad I found your blog though.


Babyblue said...

I also DREAD family reunions, not mine but more specifically my in-laws'. We've stopped showing up for Sunday lunch so I could avoid seeing the pregnant-with-twins-newlyweds and the princess only-granddaughter. I've sent my MIL the Empty Arms presentation and I guess they've realized they won't be seeing us that often anymore.

But with my family, I look forward to seeing my nephews and niece. It's just that we're so used to having the grandchildren running around and I just love playing with them. On the other hand, my in-laws' are still SO engrossed with their ONLY granddaughter, everything seems to revolve around her, not to mention my SIL's such a DOTING mother.

I do agree, your grandma is just the sweetest. She reminds me of my grandma and my mom too. They have such heartfelt sincere intentions. They're just heaven sent.

Truly Tested said...

Sounds like your grandmother rocks. No wonder you adore her.