Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I should have left it well enough alone...*** Updated

Despite your encouragement to avoid the POAS madness I couldn't. Yup, I wasted 7 bucks before 6 am. I am only 6dp3dt but I thought just this once my body would be on my side and surprise me, relieve me, and do what it does for most women. Instead of a positive it left me pissed, and instead of relieved it left me uncertain.

Who do we do this to ourselves? I can think of a million reasons not to test - to early, the trigger may still be in my system, it gets ridiculously expensive (I really should try online or dollar store), just leaves me in a dejected funk rather than an anticipation funk, makes me extra bitter at easily pregnant and fertile people, I obsess even more, it consumes me.

Now to reasons why I test: it may be positive.

Just once, I think, it may be, it has to be, how could it not be positive and then this would all be over and I could go on with my life - or so I think.

Instead I sit here somewhat weepy and my b**b soreness went away, and all I have to show for my madness is a stupid evaporation line. Believe me, I am almost certain it is just that because I took the test apart to verify as I held it over a bright light and according to www.peeonastick.com that is exactly what you are NOT supposed to do.

Did I mention I hate easily pregnant and fertile people. I guess that is another story for another post - right now it would just come across as displaced anger and we know that isn't the case, right?

Because I am sure my POAS obsession will continue to get worse I researched pee sticks a bit and found that the ones from the Dollar Tree are sensitive to 25, which is equivalent to the Early tests - you know the ones that say you can test 5 days sooner - I typically pay about 10 bucks a piece for them at Walgreen's / Target / etc. Did I mention they cost only $1. yup a buck - I feel like an addict who found a new supply. I went and got some on lunch and waited to take one when I got home. It was negative, of course, but at least I only wasted a buck and I have a stockpile now without taking out a small loan.

Now I have to make sure I don't dig it out of the garbage. What, at least it isn't an eclair, George......


Jys said...

Hang in there, it should not be much longer!!!
I know I drove myself crazy after every IUI, and frankly every cycle period for the last 1.5 years. I can't think of the amount of tests I wasted. So I know I am the last person to tell you not to test early, and esp after the big IVF. All I can suggest is to whatever it takes to take your mind off it for now, because if it is -ve at this point, it truly isn't any kind of answer.
You KNOW that chances with IVF are so high.... so the odds are in your favor! GOOD LUCK!! And may the days fly!

DD said...

I didn't know this until recently, but you can buy a gross of pee sticks for a buck each on line. I wish I had known that before.

Becky said...

Good luck- just afew more days waiting--hang in there!

The RE who just did my retrieval told me that they are going to put the two best eggs back just as soon as they know which two they are, and not wait for all 5 days. I don't know if that was BS that he tells all his patients so they don't freak if they get called in earlier than 5 days, but it made sense to me. You have the two best chances in your ute right now, and as he pointed out, they are in the best environment they can be in. Good luck, and I can't wait to hear your results!

not so fertile girl said...

I hate those POAS test...they call to me...wooeing me to waste my money on them...only to lead me to disapointment. They have never treated me kindly...I wait for the day were I am victorious over that stinkin stick!