Yeah, that is me: I am officially crowning myself Queen of the Cystdom. Since my body is in charge this is not gonna be a socialist or democratic society but rather a pure dictatorship.
We go in to see Dr. Bowtie tomorrow and I have big surprise for him - another cyst on my right ovary (Lola) the left one (Pricilla) seems to be behaving a bit now but maybe I just cannot feel her because Lola is hogging all the pain receptors. These cysts seem to be related to ovulation but they don't go away until they are aspirated or we wait. Hmm.....
So our questions for Dr. Bowtie center around egg quality, sp. quality, fertilization and embryology. Basically, this past time we got fertilization, although the fert rate was low (5 out of 15). Also we need to know what factors could be contributing to our poor embryology - our embryos did not have much fragmentation but they were dividing too slowly and probably just fizzled out after a few days. I am fully prepared that we will get no answers, but a girl has to try at least.
We are also going to ask him about what to do next. It is funny, when going through an IVF cycle you want it to work so badly that you will settle for nothing else - all other options seem second class. Now that we are not in that emotional cyclone I am much more open to adoption. DH still thinks my mothering instincts will kick in at some point and that urge to bear a child will resurface, but right now I would just be happy to acquire a child. Perhaps I am just desperate. I am almost positive that Dr. Bowtie is going to put us on this DHEAS (or something?) study that will require me to take this drug for at least 4 months to improve egg quality. I can't imagine revisiting this madness after 4 months - I kind of just want to hurry up and get it over with. How am I going to suspend my obsession for 4 - 6 months?
Oh, if any of you want to vie for my crown of Queen of Cystdom please let me know. I will give it up if you are deserving. In my defense, I will say that I have had 2 surgical cyst aspirations, 7 cycles "delayed" for 1 -3 months. Did I mention that I still get them when on BC to try to prevent or supress them? Perhaps we could co-rule?
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5 comments:
Hi there- thinking of you today...
Our Dearest Queen of Cystdom! All hail the queen...long live the queen! :)
Cyst stink! I had one once the size of a baseball...it hurt to walk, sit and have a full bladder. I don't envy you my dear queen.
I always got cysts after a medicated cycle and it was so frustrating to have to sit out a whole month.
I wish I had been able to see through the smoke to know that IVF is not the end-all be-all.
You could use those 4 months to do more research on adoption, if that's what you feel like. And to talk it over with your husband.
I've always thought my mothering instincts would be satisfied by an adoptive child just like by a biological child. The reason I'm still sticking to ART is because if it works, it is less complicated as adoption, less parties involved.
Studies confirm that becoming a mother, no matter how, heals much of the hurts of IF.
I can not compete with your cystdom rulership. I have never had them (lucky).
I hope you get some of your questions answered and get some hope back...
I agree about all other options seeming like 2nd class. It is interesting how time and hormone withdrawal can make you see things differently.
Thinking of you today!
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