Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Operation Continuing Negative

Status: 10dp3dt still BFN

I know I may be jumping to conclusions, but unlike some of our government leaders, if I am going start something important I want to have plan. What is this plan you ask? Well I am currently crafting a new strategy to achieve pregnancy and taking into consideration that the current egg + sp. Combination make need to be altered. yup, I revisited the donor conversation before 7am this morning.

Yes, I know it is still early, but there is no line. Even evaporation lines have given up on me now and I am stuck with the stark white pee stained strip, and we all know that SWPSS = BFN. Pretty soon the control lines will take a hike. I used to like white, it was such a neutral non-offensive color, well, not anymore, it seems to have taken sides with the anti-positive crowd. My first beta is Friday and I am trying to study but nonetheless I think I am going to fail this test.

Yes, I may be jumping to conclusions since we are not yet done with this cycle and we have one more attempt in our cost share. Dr. Bowtie even talked about some study where I take some drug that can miraculously make my ovaries act like they are 28. Wait, am I 28 and my eggs appear to suck...hmmmm. Also, I don't think it is just the eggs, but rather the combination. I think DH and I are a bad combination. We are great everywhere and in every way except reproduction.

Anyway, I researched the donor egg thing and the cost is a bit prohibitive for us right now so I was depressed. You see, my sister has offered to be a donor for us, but that is a HUGE commitment on someone's part and I don't know if I want to put her through it at a whopping 22 years of age. That is a lot to ask of someone - she would need to stop smoking, partying, and is she even mature enough to make that decision at her age. Plus how would we compensate her????

Then I asked if DH was ready to look at male donors and he said, "Well we should try my guys first with the donor, shouldn't we?" Yes, I guess we should if that makes him feel better. I really don't care where the eggs come from as long as they "work" but for DH I do really hope his guys can pull through for him because I think it will be hard on him if they don't.
Also, if anyone from Wisconsin is reading this, you really must defend yourself after last nights performance.


not so fertile girl said...

I have thought a lot lately about donor embryos. Not so much donor eggs from someone i know...but that is an interesting thought. It would have to be a friend for me since my sister is a druggie with three healthy kids I might add! Grrr!

Anyway, Thanks for bringing this subject up. I have so many questions, guess I should post on the subject...hey I think I will!

Hopeful Mother said...

I'm sorry about the POAS. I'm still holding out hope for you...

Interesting talk about the donor eggs. Will be interested to read more about the process if you decide to pursue it with your sister. Tough decisions all around.

Jys said...

Josie, you have an amazing way to write about news even when its not as positive as we'd like. You should be a writer!!
First of all, it IS still early. I have heard time and time again that hpt tests are EVIL when it comes to IVF. What might be driving you nuts today, can turn around into positive news in the blink of an eye with IVF - don't we all know that.
So before you start thinking donors, finish this cycle. Yes, it's great to have a plan - I know what you mean on planning (I always want to plan A B and even C just in case). But be positive all the same. Don't start planning WAY too early.
About donor eggs, just curiosity - what's the cost? I know at my RE it is an extra 1K atop your typical IVF cycle fees.
One way or another you will be a mom if you want to be. And I sure am hoping that its sooner than later. Like 9 months from now!! :)

Crossing all my fingers and toes for you!!

GLouise said...

Hi there- I just found your blog through cyclesista, and it seems like we have a good bit in common. I'll go through your archives to learn more.

Best wishes with your 2ww, and I am hoping the best for you.

Millie said...

I hope you get a couple of lines very soon and that operation continuing negative is canceled.

If you have questions about donor eggs (or embryos), please feel free to ask me. Not that you're going to need either but just in case you're interested. I was an egg donor years ago, have done a couple of donor egg cycles as a recipient and am now pursuing donor embies.

Anyway, just wanted to say hi and good luck.

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